Dancing to 'God is Enough'

Here are the 2 silliest boys dancing to God is Enough -

Truth Replaces the Lie

My heart is breaking today. Again. In the last 5 years of being a single parent, my heart seems to break without warning, and quite often. I couldn’t bring myself to go to church today and sit behind a wife whose husband has one arm around her as he takes notes with the other. It’s nice outside, maybe sitting in the sun while the boys play would lift my heart. My new neighbors are outside working in their yard – a young couple with a baby girl. Visual examples of the way God intended family to be are too overwhelming on days like today and they feed into the river of pain that winds throughout my heart. 

I know only God can heal this wound.  I listen for His voice, even for what I do not want to hear. I search, I pray. I wait. I read some more and think I see what He is telling me. Only the pain doesn’t go away. Then the lie begins to creep in. “I’m not worth having a husband, not even a bad one.�? I even think to myself, I have had two bad husbands…why would I want to go back to that? Loneliness brings on some interesting conversations in your head! Haha. 

 I have to hold my thoughts captive; remember to think on what’s true. God loves me. God is my husband. God is providing for us. This is frustrating me. I love God, so why isn’t that enough? Why is my desire to be hugged at the end of the day stronger than being satisfied with knowing God is my husband? Isn’t that supposed to satisfy the deepest part of my heart? Am I not as close to the Lord as I think? Am I taking my eyes off Him? I don’t know.

The desire of my heart is to be married, to a good and Godly man. The one God has for me. I have to believe he is out there, and God is teaching me, molding me and refining me for this union. I think to myself, seriously?  5 years of intense refining…what could possibly be left to refine?? Possibly my pride haha  -  I doubt
God appreciates my sarcasm! I then realize and choose to trust that God is molding and refining this man for ME. That truth brings some relief and the river begins to recede a little. Hope begins to spread within my heart as truth replaces another lie. 

Shannon
~Never underestimate the power of grace~